Nonplussed by Nonuplets!
Procedure Finished
Done.
I feel good about it. Actually, exhausted. But my hands are clean. Hands clean, garments clean, I presented a sterile environment, and my hands were as good as they’ve ever been.
Ms. Wheeze should be a happy woman. Her face will be as good as natural healing allows.
Staying clean is key. Did I say that already?
What I remember from the procedure:
-Ms. Wheeze had a strange smell coming from her abdomen, which I ignored and let the other assistants handle
-Ms. Wheeze’s face. Her previous face. I would kiss it. So was she unattractive? Am I being unprofessional? I’m just calling it like it is. No, I probably wouldn’t marry her. But I’m a wolf anyway.
-I was thinking of a new way to palm an English Penny for a transposing coin routine using a Scotch and Soda set and an expanded half shell. I’m good at the classic palm, but back-palming is impossible. I could, however, do a little pinky clip of the coin and tilt my hand.
-I thought to myself, once again, how strange it is that I’ve never been in surgery before as a patient. I’ve often reflected on this, but I wondered, during Ms. Wheeze’s procedure, if I should do something to myself requiring surgery, just so I can experience it once from the other side.
She’s recovering nicely.
Losing Our Heads
I honestly thought we, as a community, had sorted all this out after the “nipple explosion” of ’02. The scornful outrage, the indignant accusations, the fascist repressive chauvinism…
I agree, we should not be slaves to any sort of artificial superficial subjugation.
I share your sentiments of balking at the unnatural. But isn’t self-improvement an inherent part of our nature? Haven’t we been struggling, withstanding, evolving through history to better ourselves, our situation?
We have shaped the world to our ideas: tamed rivers with bridges, watered deserts with irrigation, leapt past our gravitational limits and embraced the sky with flight, and even comforted our lonely moon with companionship. We shape the world in our images.
Only the short-sighted would classify beauty as skin deep. Beauty is much more than that. It IS a state of mind. An expression of our ideals, which is why in so often we hearken back to the Greeks. The wave of partially or completely decapitated mannequins with nipples that popped up everywhere in ’02 was an absolute homage to the paragons of the ancient Athenians.
And this procedure, this transplant is its own homage to the sublime. This lovely woman doesn’t want to be a super-model or a grotesque monster. She wants to be… normal. She wants to shape her life. And if the simple act of removing her damaged head and replacing it with one from a lovely cadaver (see Lego head switch maneuver), can help her do this, shouldn’t we support that?
Dr. Mimi Ismayne, Plastic Surgeon
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