Stanley Feldman
ORDERLY
Born: April 3, 1977; Trenton, New Jersey
College: DeVry Institute North Brunswick (one semester)
Marital Status: No
Children: 2
Stanley “The Feld” Feldman is the man providing the muscle. While hospitals are largely places of smart people with skills, and techno-know-how, there are occasions requiring pure physical power, such as when it comes time to restrain someone with an unusual fear of doctors (particularly when they ingested certain substances shortly before being left at the ER) or simply lifting that obese patient who just tumbled to the floor on to a stretcher. It’s a pleasure really – like being paid to work the guns—plus being around so many disfigured people and dead bodies is in many ways like getting to live the most awesome Iron Maiden video ever. Stoic as he is strong, he makes himself essential to the work environment by handling extraordinary circumstances extraordinarily well.
Feldman does not really like to interact with patients unless they are unconscious or tweaking particularly hard. Complaints have been registered (that cracked sternum incident was never proven to be Feld’s fault) but he has only been officially reprimanded once (for attempting to sell bootleg “Faces of Death” DVDs to patients – okay even Feld can see why that might be inappropriate). In his personal life, Stanley has a reputation for being quite the ladies man and while he thinks their mothers are total bitches, Feld shouts out to his sons Lemmy and Ozzy.
