Living In Sim

In this day and age?!

smileonsmilodon — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 20:03:14 +0000

The amount of insensitivity displayed here is outrageous. Did you not take an oath to help people in need? The CT life is not something these people can avoid – they are constructed for this and we try to punish them for it? I teach my sons to be accepting of others and then the government doesn’t back me up! Just yesterday my boy came to me asking about the (D-word) child in his third grade class! I could have died!

Consider the poor CT kid, in the back seat– no airbag protection even. How can we turn that child away when he or she cracks his or her skull on a passenger seat DVD player? Can we just pretend it’s not happening just because he or she is uninsurable under the current restrictions? Leave her or him with the kind of injury she or he is bound to incur there or here in this case? I say is this or is this not something that is or is not possible to do? well!?

With all the injuries to pay for, of course the CT population is impoverished and turns to crime! Only proper health care can stop the downward spiral of the CT life – and give them a fighting chance to rise up from their car seats.

So in solidarity with the CT’s I sing their most inspirational song:

Mmm mmm mmm mmmm

The words mean even more today than they did in 1993 – the year of the riot in Winnipeg – do people want to see that kind of civil unrest again?!

P.S. Feld, your use of the D-word here is completely unacceptable and only demonstrates the kind of blind ignorance that leads to discrimination and hate crime. Maybe you are the one who is a dummy. Huh? Ever think of that? And Mythbusters is a travesty…

P.P.S. does any one else LOVE those new Old Navy commercials?

brasstacks — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 19:23:33 +0000

In response to your inquiry on the hospitals political stand on the public option support, we have none. We only have a medical point of view. Medically speaking, the public option would ensure the health of our society’s most vulnerable. Furthermore, a public option would benefit even those who opt for private insurance. Consider how epidemics tend to originate, gestate, and profligate from low income demographics (aka the
Pine Flu of ‘06). This is the very same demographic that the PO would cover
the majority of. By securing affordable medical care for these communities,
medical institutions we be able to more quickly diagnose and contain carriers who would otherwise avoid costly medical visits.

Or something along those lines.. we should write these and other similar
arguments into concise talking points, and pass them onto the politicians on
our board.

On a side note, has anyone in the accounting office projected how much of
the cost for crash test dummy care we could externalize by charging them
through a public insurer? They tend to always be high care, high expense
patients that always show up at our ER. It could be a real help in getting
us back in the black.
~Administrator>>

The Feld’s Smashup

The Feld — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 18:59:42 +0000

Three words why the public option will be a disaster for health care: crash test dummies. Most of us seek to keep ourselves in the best possible physical condition. We exercise, watch our diets, and do our best to use sleeping pills that aren’t all that addictive. By contrast, crash test dummies drive into brick walls at top speeds. Then they do it again. Then they do it again. You get the idea. Studies show they are also prone to engage in other risky behaviors (did you know a crash test dummy is 58% more likely to go on a meth related crime spree than a member of the general public?). Yet under universal health care, we would be expected to subsidize this self-destructive lifestyle. In a world of finite resources, universal health care for crash test dummies ensures there will be shortages of medicine, money, and medical practitioners for other potential patients (i.e., us). Let’s stop this from happening, before Barack Obama can strap us into the driver’s seat, rev the car up to 120, and smash us all into the concrete embankment of socialism. – Feld.

—–

Crash into plea?

Dr. Juice — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 17:57:09 +0000

Today I passed yet another gurney (of the ten we got today) filled with another refugee from the BMW plant. So I ask the forum – how can we deal with the influx of our most difficult of uninsurable patients. We’ve all seen them and considered that their life style is sometimes difficult to justifiy. Of course I am referring to the Crash Testers. (I will not use the D-word here).

My more liberal mores make me inclined to help everyone – regardless of their construction –- but how can we offer services to a population with such an egregious pre-existing condition worked right into their physical make-up?

To be fair, CT’s use the regulation safety precautions – straps and airbags etc. Perhaps the system is to blame. But how that helps us with their constant trips to emergency care I don’t know. So I put it to the forum. How can we make sure that everyone gets the care they need and “deserve?”

Frankly, I have to admit – I do find mythbusters hilarious… sorry to CT’s who might find it offensive.

My well thought out comment is rather important.

kerchinker — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 19:29:47 +0000

By Vera Clincer

Firstly, allow me to congratulate the proud mother of nine healthy babies in her successful, completely elective, litter insemination. It is quite a feat to bring that crowd to term, and congratulations all around on that.
Unlike so many others on here, I would not deem to pass any sort of moral judgment on the matter. What people elect to do with their lives, whether they choose to have some cosmetic enhancement procedure or decide to have a nonessential optional body scan, is completely up to them. These are not necessities of circumstance; they are choices, and as such completely in the realm of aesthetics and tastes, and squarely outside the realm of ethical and fiscal obligations.
That being said, her unique situation, has brought some common hospital practices to light. They will be fully detailed in the coming audit, but just to address a certain egregious methodology… Non-Invasive Core Thermal Assessments (NICTA), at $20 a pop. With regards to the nonuplets, we have taken note that this particular procedure is administered every two hours, nine times (one for each patient), for a whopping total of $2160 a day. This, of course, caught our attention. After diligent research we have come up with an alternate procedure. So, please from this moment forth, refrain from administering the costly NICTAs and simply take the babies’ temperatures for the 3¢ per sterile thermometer cover.
Thank you.

Admin – Re: Noctomom situation in brief

brasstacks — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 16:30:02 +0000

This is Errol Brasstacks. An administrator’s job is not only to make sure the trains run on time, but to ensure the trains run at all. Check that, he first needs to make sure the trains even exist, because trains are costly things. Of course, I use “trains” as a metaphor for “hospitals”, as in reality I am not involved in the railroad business (though growing up I dreamed of being a conductor and I sometimes wear the hat on casual Fridays). Recently I’ve been reminded how very simple it can be for everything to be brought to a grinding halt, regardless of whether your business is powered by coal.
One of the hardest challenges an administrator in any line of work faces is a sudden and unexpected expense. For instance, a woman gives birth to nine children. Such an occasion is remarkable, heart-warming, and pricey. How pricey? Such babies are born prematurely and, as a result, cost up to 15 times more than full-term babies:
15 times the regular price multiplied by nine babies = significant expense. The mother of the octuplets attempted to defray her costs by seeking donations. That approach will likely not be so effective this time for three reasons.
1. The bill is larger (there is one more baby).
2. The economy is worse (people have less money, for charity and everything else).
3. People inclined to give in these situations already gave to the octuplet mom.
Also there is a fourth bonus reason:
4. Lots of people were creeped out by the octuplet mom and now want nothing to do with mass-births.
What does this mean for us? For now, the cost of this event will need to be covered by the hospital and the mother’s insurance company. Their initial offer: they will help pay for three of the babies, but no more, as anything beyond that is just excessive and clearly not the sort of thing they agreed to cover (the fact they’ve already been born has been deemed irrelevant).
It’s going to be a long summer.

Nine lives – Hey… Like a cat!

The Feld — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 04:13:37 +0000

What up, it’s the Feld, yippy yo yippy yay. I feel it’s time to get a take on these nine babies from an orderly. That’s right, you’re hearing from someone who didn’t go to “medical school”, as the doctors here like to call it. I think as everybody worries about the health of the mother and the babies and the ethical implications of all this, they’re missing the big picture: how strong will these kids be?
The answer: not as strong as they should be. Why? Because these kids have myostatin.
I’ll just come right out and say it: myostatin sucks. It’s a protein in the body that “regulates muscle growth”, which is a fancy way of saying, “limits the ammo available for the gun show.” I don’t want anything regulating my firearms, be they the ones in my hall cabinet or the ones attached to my shoulders. Luckily, there are ways to fight for freedom on both fronts: you can vote the NRA line and have your kids genetically altered.

I love muscle boy! When I have kids (well, more kids), may they be this jacked. If you weren’t lucky enough to be born with genetic defects, there may be a day you can fight myostatin with pills.

Go, Author L. Rea! I envy these nine new children, who might just have the opportunity to grow up in a myostatin-free world, where the only thing limiting how ripped a man gets is his own strength of will/inconvenient gym hours.

Niner Niner – something is very wrong here

smileonsmilodon — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 20:22:54 +0000

Nurse Smilodon here – weighing in on the BIG Nine sitch. In the shadow of Octomom – who Dylan, my nine year-old, was sad to hear had eight babies and exactly zero tentacles. Hahaha Dylan is such a smart aleck. – he had this idea about Noctomom’s nine babies as a baseball team! Hahah oh that kid. He loves his baseball… and little Chloe’s bruises are healing nicely (thanks for asking Denise!)

Of course even baby birthing just has to be competition – let me tell you something Noctomom – having that many babies is just wrong. I don’t know how many nipples you have… but – unless this is Total Recall – it’s gonna be around two. How can you feed nine children the natural way? You can’t darling – you just can’t. Boobs just don’t grow that way – and you cannot get boobs with food stamps… oops. Did I say that? I said it. It’s on. Who you gonna call? – yer army of nine hemophiliac dwarves? Dylan and Chloe will beat their tiny easily bruised behinds in a ninja fight – if it comes to that – and I almost hope it does.

Already people are lining up to interview this fertile freak – listen – anyone can have kids – but who is going to take care of them while you are at work or out at the club picking up more sperm for your baster? Nocto-grandma? Now that’s just disgusting.

Nine is Enough?

xanadu — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 18:30:52 +0000

It’s Dr. Amber here with another question of medical ethics –

So the other day I was discussing prehistoric fertility art – as I do sometimes. My main squeeze – yes Dr. Amber has a squeeze who I’ll refer to here as MS (for main squeeze and not multiple scleroses in this case) – is something of a rock hound and clovis point collector. Ask him about the Anasazi and just pull up a papasan because… my dear reader you will be in for a treat and a half.

Anyhow – MS and I happened to speak over brunch about the Venus of Willendorf? – you ever seen this lady? now that is a real woman – she has more curves than a San Francisco avenue. No face though – men and their fantasy faceless ladies – they all have something – (not telling about MS’s proclivities – but early morning discussion of the Venus of Willendorf should give you some idea).

So imagine how I felt when the following day we admitted a woman pregnant with Nine and ready to pop – Noctomom. That’s what we dubbed her for the press. Now that’s a modern goddess of fertility – and she didn’t even need a man to pull this off – just some nicely donated sperm. And soon ladies, we won’t even need that – we’ll be able to synthesize that stuff using stem cells. Don’t worry MS we’ll still need you to kill the odd spider.

So because of a first class fertility clinic in Fresno there will soon be a full litter of little lads and lasses for the television to fawn over at our little hospice! What’s wrong with that? The more little ones means the more love, right? And love makes the world go round and that’s how you teach the world to sing… right?

However, it turns out Nocto can’t even take care of the kiddlets she already has – (Two others – and adding this nine puts her at an even 11 oh!).

I put it to the forum – what are the ethics here? Can we ban someone from using their eggs and scrambling them with a little love batter for the purpose of having a “man vs food” sized omelet of kids? Or does she have an unalienable right to squeeze out as many little dolls as she wants?

Nonplussed by Nonuplets!

admin — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 16:00:35 +0000