Family still in shock
Crash on I-9 leaves model facing off with hard choice
Dr. Amber here with another medical conundrum.
You may have heard about the truck full of hogs that turned over on Highway I-9 on Wednesday between Charlottesville and the exit for the Canterbury Mall. Well, it was a major collision. Ham was everywhere – the smell traveled for miles and those with their mouths watering turned in horror, when what appeared to be possibly the odor of a church picnic, was in fact a devil’s playground.
Three were left dead and several were injured including a Ms. Wheeze of Cobble Court Road – who was on her way to a modeling job at Sears. As Ms. Wheeze is a Mannequin, they rushed her here to Indemnity General to see what we could do to help.
The case was dire – she was rushed to the ER, her sternum cracked and her face scraped almost hockey-puck flat. We stabilized her and when she finally came to – we had to tell her the bad news. She would never model again.
That was when she asked about the controversial Face transplant surgery. True it had been done on a woman in Cleveland.
But it was a huge risk. Right now the patient is stable and we can keep her alive, but if she elects this risky surgery… She may die.
The face would have to come from a cadaver and we do have some transplant candidates available, but what about the family of the person whose face would be donated (seen below)? What are their rights? What would be the protocol if someone was walking around with the face of your sister – or your mother… would you be comfortable with that – would you expect a relationship with that person?
Ms. Wheeze is still in the hospital and insists that the radical full face surgery be tried.
I am still not one hundred percent comfortable with it – so I open it up to the forum….
The Beauty bar
Nurse Smilodon, with a wake up call people!
I say no. Beauty is all around. In trees and in souls. Airbrushed magazine mannequins have ruled our lives long enough. As a full-figured woman on Match.com – I know how hard it is to feel good about yourself – but dangerous surgery (no matter how advanced the technologies are becoming) is never the answer. You have been placed on this earth with your face and glasses and maybe a large gap between your teeth and some small acne scarring. But it is the real you and people whould love you for your insides. Maybe not for your more disgusting insides, lower intestines, but your inner beauty.
Maybe you have some issue with bad breath and have a prescription mouthwash that tastes like ammonia. Maybe in high school they called you Four-eyes or Pizza-face or Godzilla breath or Diarrhea (even though your name was Diana) or Stink-face or “Kill it!” or “Oh my god it’s coming toward us”. Maybe you had to go to the prom with a friend of the family. Eeew.
The point is no surgery – stomach stapling and full facial alteration – is never a good idea – even if you think that perhaps your parents would love you more if you came back with a new face and pretended to be a stranger and then they thought you were just a boarder and they let you have their daughter’s old room… because… well she disappeared… and there you would be.. new face – no one calls you Diarrhea anymore. Even then I don’t think it would be worth it. I mean, until they are really good with the surgery.
Losing Our Heads
I honestly thought we, as a community, had sorted all this out after the “nipple explosion” of ’02. The scornful outrage, the indignant accusations, the fascist repressive chauvinism…
I agree, we should not be slaves to any sort of artificial superficial subjugation.
I share your sentiments of balking at the unnatural. But isn’t self-improvement an inherent part of our nature? Haven’t we been struggling, withstanding, evolving through history to better ourselves, our situation?
We have shaped the world to our ideas: tamed rivers with bridges, watered deserts with irrigation, leapt past our gravitational limits and embraced the sky with flight, and even comforted our lonely moon with companionship. We shape the world in our images.
Only the short-sighted would classify beauty as skin deep. Beauty is much more than that. It IS a state of mind. An expression of our ideals, which is why in so often we hearken back to the Greeks. The wave of partially or completely decapitated mannequins with nipples that popped up everywhere in ’02 was an absolute homage to the paragons of the ancient Athenians.
And this procedure, this transplant is its own homage to the sublime. This lovely woman doesn’t want to be a super-model or a grotesque monster. She wants to be… normal. She wants to shape her life. And if the simple act of removing her damaged head and replacing it with one from a lovely cadaver (see Lego head switch maneuver), can help her do this, shouldn’t we support that?
Dr. Mimi Ismayne, Plastic Surgeon
Is the Ugly Life worth living?
As an orderly, I supply the muscle needed to keep a hospital going (you think these eggheads could move an MRI on their own?). I am justly proud of my body, as anyone who’s seen me on break knows: when the Feld’s not on duty, the Feld’s shirt isn’t on either. Someone once said, “Hey Feld, what’ll you do when you start to lose that six-pack?” I said, “Hey jerky, it’s an EIGHT-pack!”
Give credit where credit’s due. Then I gave that query some thought, and now I know the answer: kill myself.
I support Ms. Wheeze’s decision 1000 percent. She’s not only a Mannequin, but an inspiration to all us people who know it’s better to be a pretty corpse than an ugly live person (pretty live person is ideal, but sometimes we have tough choices).
Analysis – Face two
Dr. Amber’s final decision – Ms. Wheeze is being allowed the procedure, despite the objections of certain Dead People rights organizations (a side-note The NAADP is not a recognized Non-Profit, do not donate to them – and we certainly do not recognize the frustratingly disturbing actions of NAMDPLA!). Wheras if you are really interested in transplants – the NTAF will put your cash to good use.
The results from her surgery, to be performed by the ever capable Dr. Stoli will be available as soon as she is out of post-op… likely next Tuesday. Let’s hope her new face is a keeper. – Next week – advancements made in Human Limbs for mannequin amputees… Will these be covered in the new health care system?
Procedure Finished
Done.
I feel good about it. Actually, exhausted. But my hands are clean. Hands clean, garments clean, I presented a sterile environment, and my hands were as good as they’ve ever been.
Ms. Wheeze should be a happy woman. Her face will be as good as natural healing allows.
Staying clean is key. Did I say that already?
What I remember from the procedure:
-Ms. Wheeze had a strange smell coming from her abdomen, which I ignored and let the other assistants handle
-Ms. Wheeze’s face. Her previous face. I would kiss it. So was she unattractive? Am I being unprofessional? I’m just calling it like it is. No, I probably wouldn’t marry her. But I’m a wolf anyway.
-I was thinking of a new way to palm an English Penny for a transposing coin routine using a Scotch and Soda set and an expanded half shell. I’m good at the classic palm, but back-palming is impossible. I could, however, do a little pinky clip of the coin and tilt my hand.
-I thought to myself, once again, how strange it is that I’ve never been in surgery before as a patient. I’ve often reflected on this, but I wondered, during Ms. Wheeze’s procedure, if I should do something to myself requiring surgery, just so I can experience it once from the other side.
She’s recovering nicely.
Explore Our World…
PHOTOS
VIDEOS
WRITING & POETRY
Sponsors
